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Monthly Archives: October 2012

The Plan – Steps to My Career Break

So, here’s the loosely put together plan. It will be a lot more solid by the end of the month.

November 2012 – Start selling all large worldly possessions that can not fit into my childhood bedroom. (sofa, kitchen table, etc) and give whatever I can’t sell to ex-significant other for his new place. Announce the intended plans and the breakup to close friends?

December 2012 – Move back in with parents (if the world ends I’m going to be sooo miffed!), make sure all utilities and services in my name are cancelled or transferred appropriately. NOTE: Also, see midnight showing of The Hobbit to really psych myself for going to NZ!!

January 2013 – Adjust to commuting 25-30 minutes to work. Ramp up savings to reflect no rent, no utilities, and keep in mind that the higher cost of commuting to work. Pay off car loan.

February 2013 – Start getting together equipment: Backpack, new hiking boots, appropriate clothing, etc. Apply for New Zealand Working Holiday Visa.

March 2013 – Settle on an insurance provider for both US coverage and International coverage. Decide on exact departure date and start seriously looking at purchasing a one way ticket. Get all necessary booster shots and a complete physical.

April 2013 – Be super nice and give employer 2 months notice? Announce to friends/family/everyone who doesn’t know that aren’t coworkers that I am leaving for New Zealand soonish.  Start selling off remaining items that can be sold (TV, TV stand, bed, computer desk, etc). Buy new laptop for trip! Weee!

May 2013 – See about getting 3 months worth of my prescription prescribed to help mitigate cost of medication for a couple of months after quitting in June. Get new national and international insurance  signed up for so there is not break in coverage. Last Day of Work and my 28th Birthday on the 31st!!

June 2013 – Originally I had thought to have my last day on the 1st of June because that was my 4 year anniversary with the company. But since May 31st is my birthday, plus it falls on Friday and June 1st is on a Saturday, what better way to ring in my birthday and quit my job then doing it all on a Friday? This month is going to be either very crazy or very relaxed, as I’m planning on going to Portland, OR at the end of the month for LeakyCon 2013. I will either fly out there or take a crazy road trip to it with a friend I met at the LC 2012 who wants to see more of the US. Also have to decide whether or not to sell my car.

July 2012/August 2012 – Flying to New Zealand to start a new phase in my life!

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Posted by on October 17, 2012 in Life, Travel

 

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Life is Hard – Change is Harder

The last month has been a rough battle of internal turmoil and decision making. I haven’t written here for fear of the wrong person seeing the stuff I wanted to spill out before I was ready to talk about it.

Last night I shared with my significant other my plans for the future and how they didn’t involve him. After nearly three years together, I told him I would be going my own way next year so that I can start out on my journey to see the world. It was a hard declaration to make.

The feeling of fear I woke up with this morning at the realization that I’ve begun ripping my tidy, safe world apart just so I can start moving towards my dreams is indescribable. I feel guilty for wanting to do this and for telling him it was time for us to start down this path of seperation. I feel guilty that our lease is up January 1st and he has to find a place to live in two months that he can afford, while I’m taking the easy route and moving back in with my parents. I feel scared that I’m making the wrong decision. I’m afraid that I’ll regret this.

Have I gone insane? What reasonable person would give up an agreeable living arrangement with one of the few decent human beings on the planet to wander off into the big unknown alone? What is wrong with me that I can’t just be happy with a nice guy, a good job, a lovely apartment, and two sweet cats?

Breathe.

I’m very sure I need to do this. Even if I fail in the end, I need to at least try. Even though I feel supremely selfish in my decision to chase after my own happiness over keeping him happy, I know that this is the right decision and that if I don’t do it now I will never do it and I will resent everyone involved. I need to learn to put myself first. To quit playing mom to everyone who is hurting at the expense of my own happiness and well being. I have to stop trying to squish myself into the mold society has selected for me when I, very obviously, don’t fit in it.

All this being said, the plan is to leave for New Zealand in July/August of 2013. I will be getting a working holiday visa and plan to travel and work there for 6-12 months. I then hope to hop over to Thailand for a bit, and then maybe visit some friends in Europe. This is all dependent upon cost, of course, and one of the reason’s I’m moving back in with my parents is so I can put the maximum amount of my money into savings over the next several months.

I know a lot of people will think I’m crazy for doing this. So far the people I have chosen to tell what’s going on have been very supportive and think it’s great that I’m going (except my parents who are terrified for me!) so that’s been helpful. Now it’s just a matter of getting through the next couple of months with my significant other and tying up all the loose ends. It’s going to be an emotional time, but I hope we’ll both come out the other end only lightly scathed.

Hopefully now that I’ve started this phase of personal change I will be able to post a little more regularly again. I hope everyone is well and that everyone is in a less stressful place then I am at the moment!

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2012 in Burn Out, Depression, Life, Stress, Travel

 

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