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Category Archives: Creativity

Being Me – The Pixie Cut!

Thursday night I did something that was entirely for me. Not the day to day me that I have become over the years.  No, this was the me I started to grow into as I left high school only to get through college and force it back down into the depths of my soul. I took a risk and did something I always wanted to do, that a lot of people thought I was crazy for. Something that would draw attention to me and make me self conscious. Something that others might judge and maybe even hate me for.

I got a pixie cut :]

Before: Long blonde hair.
After: Short copper hair!

My parents hate it, my coworkers have mixed reviews, my sister loves it, and my boyfriend thinks it’s cute 🙂

But none of them matter! I love it and I am having so much fun with it! It’s been styled four different ways in the last two days, something I could have never done with my longer hair! My inner child has always been a tomboy so what better way to express that then with a sexy, short cut?

So, yes, this was my big change! It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time and never had the guts to do. It was all my decision, no social/peer/cultural pressure to do it. I am dealing with the fact that a lot of people think it looks terrible and the cultural bias that women should have longer hair. All the negativity doesn’t bother me, and neither does all the attention, because I am very happy I did it. My only regret is that I did not do it sooner! I mean, less than 2 minutes to wash and condition your hair? Come on ladies, you can’t beat that!! ^_^

So, let me hear your opinions on pixie cuts! The good, the bad, and the biased 🙂

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Posted by on August 25, 2012 in Creativity, Mental Health, Therapy

 

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Yeah, I Can Do That!

I love this video. Not because it’s hilarious that this random guy off the street was able to fool hundreds of people into believing he was a celebrity, but because it’s such a great example of being able to be whoever you want to be in this day in age.

A lot of us are working very hard to become the healthy, well-adjusted people who are true to who we are and we are struggling. We are trying to work through the way we perceive ourselves and the way we believe others perceive us. Most days all we can see is a person who has trouble functioning in normal situations and who is a failure.

But this guy here, while he may not suffer from anything other than an over inflated ego at this point, went out there and became what he wanted to be with very little effort. Of course, this was temporary and cost him some money, but it’s just an example of how easily we can remake ourselves in this (slightly gullible) world.

My dad and I had a discussion the other night that really made me think about what I could do with my life. He said to me, “River, all you have to do is want to do something. You just have to be the person that says ‘Yeah, I can do that.’ and you will be able to do it.” My dad currently runs his own business doing conservation work for farmers and runs tile (plastic tubing for drainage) for water ways. He informed me that the first time he laid tile for a customer he had never done it before, he just knew if he applied himself he could do it. Why? Because other people were doing it and he was capable of doing anything any other human being could do.

This is probably one of the most valuable things my dad has ever told me and I don’t think it would have hit as hard if it had been my therapist that had told it to me.

Still a big change coming tonight, still freaking out a little. But I’m excited! Can’t wait to share it with you all tomorrow ^_^

 

 

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Never A Right Time For Change

I am going to do something crazy (for me) tomorrow that I’m hoping will be another step toward my independence from my social anxiety. I’m hoping I don’t chicken out, but I’m definitely freaking out a little bit! It’s not something so drastic as quitting my job, but it’s a major step in expressing my real self and bringing me out of hiding. If I go through with it, you will find out what it was in a post on Friday. If I don’t, the post on Friday will be something lame and you should all tell me what a chicken I am!! 🙂

Hope everyone is having a good week! Don’t forget to breathe deep!

 

 

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Don’t Settle

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2012 in Creativity, Mental Health, Therapy, Work

 

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Profit vs Progress – A Personal Struggle

The path to progress and profit

Image taken from an article on Good.Is titled Progress vs Profit

I am at a cross roads in my life. My current job pays the bills with extra to stash away in the bank, it has good benefits, and I am basically completely independent and can prioritize my day in any way as long as it benefits the company and stuff gets done.

However, my job does not make me happy. I do not feel like I am accomplishing anything, that I am giving back in any way, or that I am being challenged at all. There is no growth here, those above me on the food chain I often think are idiots or spineless, and a lot of my comments or suggestions fall on deaf ears. I take attitude from my users, tell my boss, and am told to “bite the bullet”. I ask for a reasonable raise, and I’m told that my boss has consulted the vendors that work for me and that they say that doesn’t seem reasonable. I do not hate my coworkers, but I enjoy the company of very few and have even fewer that I have a anything in common with. There is no creativity here. There is no self expression. It is a dull and lifeless place full of squabbling hens and cocky roosters.

I have decided I want nothing more to do with this “easy” life path to Profit, I want a fulfilling one that challenges me. I still want to Profit so I can pay my bills and feel financially secure, but I also want to feel like I’m on the path to Progress and doing something with myself and the world around me.  Not only does the squiggly line look like the harder path but it looks like there are way more chances for adventure on it. And my life, thus far, has been seriously lacking in any real adventures.

Growing up I always thought that money = freedom and debt = prison. I needed a lot of money to live a fulfilling life and to have a real sense of self-worth. I believed that up until I started writing this entry.  Money is a prison for me. The more I make, the more I need, and the less secure I feel. I keep saying that once I am making a certain amount of money a year, or have a certian amount in the bank, I will feel less stressed and more secure, but the closer I get to that goal the more anxiety I feel. The more money I have in the bank the worse I feel about buying anything at all. The bigger my financial cushion the more terrified I become of falling, failing, and losing it.

I feel better being able to mull over this internally and look forward to hearing Amy’s (and anyone else’s) thoughts on it. I don’t really know how I am going to get over my unhealthy relationship with money, but I’m ready for something to derail me from the Profit Path and get me started down the line with a little more Progress in it.

 

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Mandala Madness – Reblog

This is such a neat idea that I couldn’t help but reblog it! I mean, who doesn’t like coloring? And if you don’t have any crayons at home, you can get them very cheaply at your local dollar store 🙂

Where We Step

Back in the day, the Buddhists invented the mandala as a way to visually represent the universe and the cosmos, and often used these beauties as meditation tools. Making and looking at mandalas helped them focus their attention and enter trances. And it’s pretty nifty because you don’t have to be a Buddhist to get a mandala template and you don’t have to be five to break out the crayons. Loads of people around the world love using mandalas as anxiety-relief tools.

I was a total nonbeliever at first Last Tuesday when my counselor handed me a pile of mandalas to color at home, I was like, “Seriously?” But you guys, it totally works. People even do science on this kind of thing. That link goes to a scholarly paper by Nancy A. Curry and Tim Kasser. If you don’t have time to read that, here are the spark…

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